Stop the “In Yo Face” Madness (pretty please)

Tis’ the season, but seriously, tis’ the crazy cost — and in some cases, questionable nature– of various products that makes me cringe.

Avon, Scentsy, 31, Mary Kay, Tastefully Simple (a.k.a. not tastefully priced), 3-D lashes, Jamberry Nails, Nerium, Plexus, Premier Jewelry…the list is expansive and neverending.

And especially if you are on Facebook, they are totally in your face. All the time.

This side-industry of products started creeping in years ago…now they can’t be escaped.

Do you need $50 facial cream? 3-D lashes? “Special” soap? $25 Organic lipstick? Super expensive protein shakes? If you do, they are waiting for you! If you don’t, you better believe you will still hear about them…often!

I definitely respect that people want to make some supplemental income; that’s great. I totally get that and appreciate a good work ethic.

But, please don’t hate me because I don’t want to buy this stuff. I want to buy All. The. Things. But not necessarily these things.

I’m just a material girl living in a material world, persevering on an Aldi budget and the ease of one-click Amazon purchases (that I generally need and am not guilted into buying).

It’s tricky. Often it is our family, friends or neighbors who are showcasing their products and trying to earn some extra cash.

Yet, if I am added to another Jamberry group or Lalala (or whatever it is called) clothing group, I am going to scream. Sorry, not sorry.

I’ll donate to worthy fundraisers. I’ll donate to cancer patients. I cry and then donate to the ASPCA whenever I see those really sad commercials with Sarah McLachlan songs playing and depressed cats looking at me with one eye or matted dogs sadly limping around with three legs. Those get me every time. But, I just don’t need more expensive makeup or jewelry or cleaning solutions that allegedly make shit sparkle a little more.

Not to mention the products that I simply do not believe in still exist (there were even Black Friday deals…and Cyber Monday deals…and post-Cyber Monday deals), like the “Wrap: It Works!” thingy. If only it were that easy to lose weight…c’mon now.

I don’t want to offend those who sell it or those who use this lil’ alleged magic wrap, but in my opinion, it is hardly a long-term solution for being fit or managing weight. If you want to wrap something, wrap a watch around your wrist, then go run or work out. Eat healthy. Repeat. Then wrap an extra gift with all the cash you saved from a phony gimmick, because ssshhh…the wrap only “works” for like an hour, or a day, if you’re lucky, and then you’re right back where you are started.

And did I miss something, because what happened to actual Facebook invites? Now it seems like I’m automatically added to new groups daily on Facebook without ever confirming I even wanted to be included, which, if it isn’t clear by now, I don’t. Tee hee.

Yesterday I could not stop laughing when my friend texted, “I’m trapped in so many FB horror parties.”

But it is SO true.

Unfortunately, most of us are just lumped right into these groups and are stuck getting nonstop notifications about products we do not want. And after the notifications come the private message inquiries. Oh, the agony! (I won’t even go into the private message I got three years ago from a former high school classmate I hardly knew…about trying a new wrinkle cream. I must have stared at my face for hours in the following weeks, trying to assess if I had any wrinkles. I was like, “Dude, you don’t even know me!”)

I have tried leaving these groups before, but somehow, the alerts continue, or even worse: The groups add me back. Seriously, it happens. Oh, the temerity!

A former student once added me to a weight loss supplement group, and when I (politely) clicked on “leave group” the first time, I felt excited that I would no longer be blown up with excessive notifications about a product I did not support. I could not believe when within hours, I was re-added to that same group.

Talk about her passion for Plexus, which by the way, is that product even safe? Anyway, this leave/re-add process happened one more time and I eventually escaped. Yes, you can laugh at my persistence.

The bottom line with all of this stuff is that I do not want to feel guilty because I didn’t buy something I don’t need, or because I didn’t attend a party and purchase something from the hostess.

I admire a person’s quest for extra cash, but lines can be crossed.

I remember years ago I was coaxed into attending a jewelry party with a friend. It was a friend of a friend of her friend throwing it, or something like that; the usual with these deals.

“It will be fun,” she said. “And you don’t have to buy anything.”

LIES!

Of course you don’t have to buy something, but it’s not easy to dodge that bullet once you’re there. They wine you, dine you and stick brochures and product samples in your face until you a) buy something out of guilt b) feel a little buzz and actually think you *might* need that $80 necklace c) give in to agreeing to host the next party so you can earn free shit. That’s where the friend of a friend of a friend apparently pays off?

Anyway, ain’t nobody got time for attending facial or candle or cleaning supply parties.

Recently a friend told me she was invited to one of these events, and the invite said, “Bring your own wine and snacks.” Now THAT really made me laugh.

It’s bad enough being dragged to those and expected to buy things, but then to not be provided with any goodies? Reminds me of Dumb and Dumber: “You’ll have to excuse my friend…he’s a little slow. The town is back THAT way!”

Some people love these products, and there is nothing wrong with that. And it makes sense for sellers to advertise and post links/specials on their page. If people are interested, they can then join the groups themselves and/or contact the sellers, instead of the other way around.

This prevents people getting annoyed AND avoids giving the potential buyers a complex about their weight or potential wrinkles…and that’s just the gift that keeps on giving.

 

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Author: Andee

Mommy, Indianapolis Moms Blog writer, CrossFit junkie and former English teacher

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