With 2016 winding down this week, and a bunch of “New Year, New You!” ads surely looming in the near future, it seemed timely to create a list of things to get rid of…sooner than later. Happy New Year! Cheers to the good, the bad and the bajiggity things in life!
1) Toxic people
As I get older, that cliché of “Life is short” has really resonated with me. We all need to make sure we are surrounded by allies and positive people; we should avoid those individuals who bring us down or do not make us feel good about ourselves. Simply put, they can SUCK IT! (For the best effect, make sure you shriek/scream that in a girly voice).
2) Reliving embarrassing moments from the past
Ok, so I definitely have a lot of these! It’s good to remember embarrassing moments if they make you laugh, but if you are going to agonize, cut the memory loose! Remind yourself you are human, you survived and are still here, so it is ok to move on.
3) Kids’ toys that you don’t have room for anymore
Donate them to charities, drop them off at Goodwill, give them to a friend or sell them on an online garage sale site. Any way you do it, you WILL appreciate that you helped someone else out, that you have extra space and that your kids can easily find the toys they actually want to play with!
4) Clothes that don’t fit
Purge, purge, purge! Jeans, shoes, tops, dresses, belts, those awful clogs, whatever. It’s ok that you might not be a size 5 again. Ever. And it’s ok to get rid of the clothes that you only fit into after a case of the stomach flu. Or clothes that you wore during a particularly “heavy” time. The bright side is that you get to go shopping again!
5) Trying to do it all.
It is ok to ask for help. Repeat that to yourself when you feel like you are drowning. There’s a 50/50 chance you will actually get the help you need, but remember, it is ok to at least ask!
6) The notion that you’re supposed to do everything
Maybe I’m biased, but I feel like women especially feel they are supposed to do everything. Once in a while, delegate some shit to your hubby. Grab a book, put your feet up and watch him look like a deer in head lights doing All. The. Things. You know, what you do every day. Don’t forget to say, “Happy Wife, Happy Life!” a few times if he looks at you in desperation…and of course, thank him!
We all have had guilt of some sort in our lives; perhaps guilt about how we treated someone, or guilt about job performance, or something we did or didn’t do. It IS ok to make peace with things…and then move on. We can all come to terms with how the past cannot be changed, but the future CAN; we can make apologies, do better, make changes, avoid hurting others, etc. It is so much healthier to not harbor guilt!
8) Carrying 16 shopping bags into the house at once
It is totally ok to make two trips! I promise! It took me a while to accept that I did not have to kill myself trying to bring everything into the house in one trip.
9) Texting and driving
Common sense on this one. If I see one more news story about an accident that was caused because someone was on their phone…
I read an interesting article last year by a woman whose husband was divorcing her. She recalled, with pain, many incidents of her nitpicking him; the times he came home from the grocery store with the wrong brand of an item, or him forgetting to schedule an appointment, or him not putting his clothes away in the right spot. The list could go on and on about trivial complaints. She regrets all those times she nitpicked, and believes it ultimately led to the demise of their marriage. Things were derailed because she not only emasculated him at times, but she drove him away and made him resent her.
Obviously we do not know all of the details or intricacies of their marriage. Nonetheless, the article was a good reminder that it is definitely ok to have a voice and to express our emotions if we are not happy, yet, perhaps we all need to be mindful of what we are choosing to focus on, and ask ourselves, is it worth it? How valid is the concern or disappointment? How are we impacting others?
This could apply to everything, not just marriages…friendships, parent/child relationships and job relationships (Makes me think of Office Space and giggle. “Ah! Yeah. It’s just we’re putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that’d be great.”)
11) Body shaming
Love yourself, and love others! We need to stop being so critical of our own bodies as well as those of others. If you are not happy with your body, you can try to change that. And yes, it’s totally ok to look in the mirror right after a good workout and think, “Skinnier!”
12) Letting other people be too big in your life
Don’t allow others to control your emotions and daily life. This can be hard at times, but if you make a conscious choice to love people more and care about their opinions less, you might find more peace. Edward T. Welch wrote an exceptional book called When People Are Big and God Is Small. It sure can change your perspective on a lot of things.
13) Your phone
Ok, so don’t get rid of your phone, but yes, put it down more. Put it away. Turn it off. LIVE and experience; you don’t always have to record and share. I remember growing up when we went to restaurants and families talked and interacted; now you go to a restaurant and see everyone on their phones. Even at church the other day for Christmas mass, I saw teenagers texting and using SnapChat. It is so sad to me that technology has taken over in this capacity.
Procrastination, in my opinion, triggers so much stress! If you just do what it is you are putting off doing, you can be done with it and not worry about it. For some this is easier said than done, but personally, I would go crazy putting things off all the time like some people do!
15) Old phrases
Dear goodness, it is time to cut these loose (hee hee): “You Da Bomb,” “You Rock,” “That’s bangin’,” “…Said No One Ever,” “…Not.”