With so many dreary days lately, a long winter still ahead and, of course, all of the political turmoil lately, it’s totally ok…
1) To put your pajamas on at 5 p.m. And ladies, feel free to take that bra off early, too. Unleash the beasts!
2) To speed walk past the vendors at the mall. It’s ok once in a while to pretend you don’t hear them asking if you want to try their $50 hair products. I know, I know, everybody needs to make a living, but DAMN! I’ve got exactly one hour before I have to go pick up my toddler from preschool, so they need to please stay out of my way with trying to sell me their blingy cell phone cases, overpriced hair products and unnecessary poop emoji pillows.
3) To unfollow people on Facebook. And if they really piss you off, go for the gold and unfriend them. You have a right to make your newsfeed more uplifting or less stressful…Out with the bad, in with the good! Out with the bad, in with the good! (Side note: Just don’t be THAT person by announcing you are going to unfriend people or “clean out” your friends list. Just do it if you need to, but don’t act like people are going to cry, drink a six pack and suck their thumb in the corner because you unfriended them. “Why?! Whhyyyyyy?!”)
4) To ignore phone calls. That’s totally not what the phone is for, right?! (Except for your parents/family; one day you will miss talking to them and hearing their voices.)
5) To not base your self-worth on the number of “likes” your post or picture received on social media. Kudos to those who don’t crave attention or possess the need to feel validated by social media acceptance. It’s ok if we didn’t see a picture of your lunch or another selfie today. It’s really ok. We still love you.
7) To have thoughts of running away to an island far, far away, with lots of food and alcohol, and perhaps a midget to cater to you, every time you clap your hands. Remember, it’s just thoughts!
8) To let your child eat a raw hot dog to avoid a fit. I mean, ewww, but, perhaps lips and assholes taste delicious to some, even little people.
9) To start planning or booking your spring and summer vacations now. As in right NOW!
10) To say “no.” You don’t have to do everything for everyone.
11) To get upset at your neighbors that didn’t pick up after their dog that just took a giant dump in your yard. It’s really the worst after a bunch of snowfalls, and when the snow melts…you see how truly lazy people can be!
12) To look at yourself in the mirror and think “HOLY HECK! I don’t even know where to start today.” Or, contrarily, to say “HOT DAMN! I look really goooooood!”
13) To hate advice from bloggers and think, “Oh, so you can put some words together, huh? That’s cute.”
14) To see the sun poke out and instantly think that everything is going to be ok; that whatever doo doo you are encountering now, it, too, shall pass.